Year: 2009Label: Riff Raff Records, Grave Mistake
Tracks:
1. Nothing Else
2. Stray
3. Passed Out
There is very little doubt in my mind that School Jerks are
quite simply the best, and likely the most important punk band to ever have
come out of Toronto. It is obviously impossible to objectively assess the
importance of bands without getting into subjective reasoning and
sentimentality. After all, School Jerks were the first Toronto hardcore band I
ever heard. However, because I tend to overthink things that I like, and
perhaps just for the fuck of it, I’ve come up with a reason why School Jerks
could be considered the cream of the crop in terms of Toronto punk. And this
reason is simply this: School Jerks lie at the heart of what it means to be
Torontonian and punk.
In order to understand this, consider what it means to be a
Torontonian. This is to say, consider an identity comprised of the lack
thereof. Consider the experience of living in what might be the most remarkably
unremarkable city in the world. Lodged in close proximity to two cultural
centers (Montreal and New York), and being the most multicultural city in the
world, Toronto has never really been able to forge an identity of its own, but
has developed its culture in relation to its more creative neighboring cities
and its immigrant populations. For this reason, Toronto has become known for its
remarkable passivity. On the subway, we’ll go out of our way to avoid contact
with other human beings, and possibly whisper “sorry” under our breath in the
event of a collision. At shows, we’ll avoid any kind of conspicuous behavior
until the multitudes of people moshing to the out of town band let us know its
alright to step out of our cages for just a second. Toronto is aggressively
passive and passive aggressive.
School Jerks on the other hand are a wild breed. School
Jerks are what could not be tamed by Toronto’s social etiquette. School Jerks
is the objection to trendy resto-lounges as show spaces as symbolized by the
shit stain on the bathroom floor at Parts & Labour and the untaken
photograph of the members pissing on the building late one night after the
beard clientele had gone home to their condos. School Jerks are the shows at
the Bridge Over Troubled Water that never happened, because the generator
fucked up, or because the bands had to drop, or because everyone was too wasted
to remember how to play their songs. School Jerks are the kid on the cover of
this 7”, drawing a swastika on his desk, not out of allegiance with dogmatic
fascist bullshit, but in a crude and effective attempt to provoke you, and to
take you out of your comfort zone and actually think about things for one god
damned minute of your life. On the one hand, School Jerks are something that
could have only been created by the crippling passivity of a city like Toronto.
At the same time, Toronto was never punk enough for the School Jerks during
their existence, but the band acted as some kind of utopian presence, a light
on the horizon for what can be, or what could have been.
Yet somewhere in the dizzying chaos of the School Jerks,
there is also order. Take the band’s imagery for example. The completion of an
aesthetic form between Luke’s utterly brilliant lyrics and the devastating art
of Tara Bursey, the band’s Arturo Vega. Most bands shun themed records, yet the
School Jerks embraced them and perfected them. On this particular 7”, my
favourite School Jerks release, the theme is something along the lines of
youth, ignorance, and violence, as indicated by the provocative cover. Each
song is a recollection of some fucked up night Luke had when he was younger.
When he spews, “I’m on my last legs, damned if I don’t, wake up beaten,
bruised” on Nothing Else, you have no choice but to believe anything else.
I have to say that the less than four minutes that comprise
this 7” have to be some of my favourite minutes on any 7”. I have no idea how many
of these were pressed but I believe the first pressing is on black and grey
marble, with a red garbage vinyl second press on Grave Mistake, and a third orange
garbage vinyl pressing. Do yourself a favour. Buy this record.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pu-EGq7_hx8
