School Jerks - Nothing Else

Year: 2009
Label: Riff Raff Records, Grave Mistake

Tracks:

1. Nothing Else

2. Stray
3. Passed Out

There is very little doubt in my mind that School Jerks are quite simply the best, and likely the most important punk band to ever have come out of Toronto. It is obviously impossible to objectively assess the importance of bands without getting into subjective reasoning and sentimentality. After all, School Jerks were the first Toronto hardcore band I ever heard. However, because I tend to overthink things that I like, and perhaps just for the fuck of it, I’ve come up with a reason why School Jerks could be considered the cream of the crop in terms of Toronto punk. And this reason is simply this: School Jerks lie at the heart of what it means to be Torontonian and punk.

In order to understand this, consider what it means to be a Torontonian. This is to say, consider an identity comprised of the lack thereof. Consider the experience of living in what might be the most remarkably unremarkable city in the world. Lodged in close proximity to two cultural centers (Montreal and New York), and being the most multicultural city in the world, Toronto has never really been able to forge an identity of its own, but has developed its culture in relation to its more creative neighboring cities and its immigrant populations. For this reason, Toronto has become known for its remarkable passivity. On the subway, we’ll go out of our way to avoid contact with other human beings, and possibly whisper “sorry” under our breath in the event of a collision. At shows, we’ll avoid any kind of conspicuous behavior until the multitudes of people moshing to the out of town band let us know its alright to step out of our cages for just a second. Toronto is aggressively passive and passive aggressive.

School Jerks on the other hand are a wild breed. School Jerks are what could not be tamed by Toronto’s social etiquette. School Jerks is the objection to trendy resto-lounges as show spaces as symbolized by the shit stain on the bathroom floor at Parts & Labour and the untaken photograph of the members pissing on the building late one night after the beard clientele had gone home to their condos. School Jerks are the shows at the Bridge Over Troubled Water that never happened, because the generator fucked up, or because the bands had to drop, or because everyone was too wasted to remember how to play their songs. School Jerks are the kid on the cover of this 7”, drawing a swastika on his desk, not out of allegiance with dogmatic fascist bullshit, but in a crude and effective attempt to provoke you, and to take you out of your comfort zone and actually think about things for one god damned minute of your life. On the one hand, School Jerks are something that could have only been created by the crippling passivity of a city like Toronto. At the same time, Toronto was never punk enough for the School Jerks during their existence, but the band acted as some kind of utopian presence, a light on the horizon for what can be, or what could have been.

Yet somewhere in the dizzying chaos of the School Jerks, there is also order. Take the band’s imagery for example. The completion of an aesthetic form between Luke’s utterly brilliant lyrics and the devastating art of Tara Bursey, the band’s Arturo Vega. Most bands shun themed records, yet the School Jerks embraced them and perfected them. On this particular 7”, my favourite School Jerks release, the theme is something along the lines of youth, ignorance, and violence, as indicated by the provocative cover. Each song is a recollection of some fucked up night Luke had when he was younger. When he spews, “I’m on my last legs, damned if I don’t, wake up beaten, bruised” on Nothing Else, you have no choice but to believe anything else.

I have to say that the less than four minutes that comprise this 7” have to be some of my favourite minutes on any 7”. I have no idea how many of these were pressed but I believe the first pressing is on black and grey marble, with a red garbage vinyl second press on Grave Mistake, and a third orange garbage vinyl pressing. Do yourself a favour. Buy this record.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pu-EGq7_hx8